Self-confidence is not a talent, it is a skill

Anastasiia Serafyn
2 min readJun 10, 2021


I was told by my boss that my English wasn’t perfect. My manager was a perfectionist.

I was grateful for that feedback and started improving my English skills.

At the same time, my self-confidence dropped, and I started avoiding all the situations when I had to speak English in front of a group pf people. I thought that everyone would notice my mistakes and how bad my English was.

The struggle became real when I opened my own business. I watched other experts delivering amazing presentations in English and was comparing myself to them. I believed that I had to have the same English level to become an expert and grow my business. Otherwise, people won’t take me seriously.

I was taking English classes. Funny enough, my teacher and teammates were telling me that my English skills were very good and they didn’t understand why I was taking that course. That made me think maybe it wasn’t so bad, and I had to relax about that.

I promised myself to start presenting and improving as my business grows. I forced myself to organize live talks with other experts on Instagram. It was hard but I committed mysel to overcome my struggle!

After each live talk, it was getting better and I was receiving a lot of positive feedback. That made me think that people don’t need my perfect English, they need valuable information and insightful content.

I am still working on improving my English language skills. However, I make it better by going live, sharing stories, writing articles, and practicing every day! Practice uplifts my self-confidence.

I also stopped comparing myself to others. My story is different. I am different and this is my strength.

What I can say for sure is that self-confidence is not a natural in-build trait. It’s a skill that can be developed.

So how do you build and maintain self-confidence?

  • Compliment yourself for small achievements.
  • Write down a brag list about all your accomplishments.
    Read it whenever you start doubting yourself, or you need a portion of encouragement.
  • Repetition is the KEY. You become confident by practicing and trying things again and again.
  • Ask your manager, colleagues, or friends to name your best traits and what makes you a great person or professional. Remember their words whenever self-doubt strikes!
  • Replace negative self-talk with a positive one. Tell your mind believe in your abilities!
  • Look at successful people as a great example but not as someone who is better than you.
  • Consider failure as your friend. Failure is a redirection and progression:)
  • Don’t strive for perfection. Btw, perfection is very subjective and what perfect for you isn’t necessarily perfect for others!

Remember that it’s all in your head and only you can create a positive change!



Anastasiia Serafyn

Life and Career Coach | I help people who feel lost build gain clarity and uncover their strengths to build a fulfilling life.